Conclusions About Love

So I want to bring light to another setback of mine that was keeping me from writing for so long and still does to some degree and that is my desire to come to conclusions, which is essentially the same thing as wanting everyone to understand. I just wrote a couple paragraphs of some things that ring true to me and upon reaching the end I realized that I hadn't really stated anything definitively or concluded about any one topic, it was just talking, ranting even, and a part of me was deterred from publishing it because again I wanted it to be effective, I wanted it to prove beyond reasonable doubt something that makes sense to me. So again I must steer away from these desires, I recognize them, I understand why they're present in my consciousness and I am able to take the power away from them. I care not whether this gets me recognition or reverence, I am writing to write, I may have to tell myself this a million times but so be it. This is a process, it is a practice. So here are the results of this weeks practice.

What is love? baby don't hurt me. Love is all there is, there's a lot of different ways to name it: consciousness, joy, god, light, energy, probability, potentiality, all these can describe what it is but I choose the word love because when I know it fully, when I understand it, when I am left with no questions, I feel love. The same love I felt when I was embraced by my mother's compassionate hug or when I realized that my father would risk his life to protect me, or when having a late night chat with a close friend and realizing you agree about everything, or when making love to a partner and wishing that those moments would last forever so you would never have to be apart. This is what I feel- the ultimate acceptance, the feeling of coming home, the joy of being everything you can be- when I believe these things to be true, and if it is all a delusion then it is a delusion that I am happy to entertain because it is one that brings clarity and equanimity to my life. It brings acceptance of all things, love for all beings and understanding of all processes.  

I am love, physically. I sense its presence and existence and recognize that that is what I am, and what everyone is. We are all love manifested in different patterns, when we divorce ourselves from our patterns, from the identity structure we've been conditioned to accept as ourselves, we become love, the finest energy possible. I see love as a sea of light or energy beaming in all directions simultaneously, it is so powerful that it interferes with nothing, it just rides right through it all and yet lays the foundation for anything to exist upon it. The same way a light ray is not impeded until it reaches a piece of matter and is reflected or absorbed, love energy is everywhere always and it entangles with itself to form an infinity of different patterns that manifest as matter. By itself this light ray is nothing, it has no characteristics or properties, it just is. The same can be said about love. But like light, being able to be divided into separate colours when travelling through the medium of a prism, love upon interacting with itself develops properties and characteristics as well. It is divisible, and multipliable. Our universe including everything we have ever known is infinite, nothing is of itself, everything is made of other things and everything is connected to every other thing. There are no limits, no starts and no ends. A light ray was once a photon orbiting an atom in the core of a star, before being in the star it was traversing the universe, its alleged source was the big bang which it sprung out of. But the big bang itself was not a beginning, unless considered relatively, it was the beginning of this specific universe and all its specific properties. But it emerged and evolved from a zero state, where no specific energies were measurable, just a unit of pure energy. It was the collapse of a previous universe, which endured the same path. There exists the zero state like a sea at rest, but when energy moves through the water, waves form and push water upwards and downwards giving it measurable properties, e.g, an atom of water at the peak of a wave is 10cm above the most southern atom of water, therefore making it 5cm away from the zero state. The energy must pass through the zero state in order to inhabit the opposite spectrum, this is what we consider the singularity, the point at which the universe was nothing. This process goes, and is going on forever. The concept of infinity can be troubling because it implies no source or beginning. Yes, the universe that we inhabit was born of nothing, but that nothing was brought about by the collapse of something. Everything makes more sense when we consider it in terms of waves. Our biggest blunder as a conscious species is the need to find a beginning. We assume it is implied that there must have been a start because everything we observe in the material world seems to have had a start and an end. We are born and then we die, the same can be said for stars and trees or any other animal, from our perspective nothing lasts forever, nothing is infinite, but we only see it this way because we assume that these things we know are real, that they are individual "things" that come from separate sources. We think we are something separate from the stars and the trees and other animals, but we are not, we are all just energy, changing, exchanging with itself. The atoms that make up our bodies currently came from the energy of food and water and sunlight, energy that just adapted itself to our specific code or pattern. We never possessed the atoms we possess now when we were born, we accumulated them over time and our atoms are constantly changing, we are never the same person for more than a moment. Our cells are constantly dying and new ones are constantly being born.                                                            

In order to understand reality we must allow infinity as a concept, as troubling as that may be. We crave an explanation because we've gotten good at supplying them and that helps us to understand. But in the concept of explanation that we think of, we think there must be a beginning, a cause, but no thing has one cause, everything causes everything. Starts and beginnings only exist subjectively, from individual perspectives.